The Celebrate Silver project began with Peter Butrus Zabaneh. Nancy wanted her father’s inspiring life documented in a keepsake book for posterity. So, I went over to meet and interview the 86-year old gentlemen. The willing eagerness with which he sat to narrate the story of his lived experience was truly endearing.
He shared several heart-warming memories, most painful of which centred on leaving his beloved home in Ramla city in 1948 during the horrific Palestinian Nakba. Peter was only 12 at the time. Twinkling eyes radiating a soft joy, Peter laughed as he recalled how he fractured his arm at age eight. Riding saddle-free on a white donkey’s back with cousin Moses through grandfather Roufa’s citrus orchard, thick with the refreshing fragrance of lemons, when suddenly, “Moses poked the donkey and I tumbled and fell onto my back!” Peter can recite Khalil Gibran and Rudyard Kipling – verbatim. Entire verses, not just a line or two. And the account of all this and more that he has experienced in his life, is now preserved – in his own words, within the pages of a book. One copy, Nancy tells me, sits on the living room centre table. The other is always by his bedside.
The wholehearted keenness with which each senior sits to tell me about their life has reinforced my belief in the initiative I started, short of a year ago. The idea behind it was simple – every member of each family has a story worth telling. Especially our silver-aged elders. Seeing them smiling patiently from the periphery of family events and social gatherings, I have often wondered, who were these amazing people before they became husbands – wives, fathers and mothers, grand parents? What dreams and aspirations did they have in their early years? Did they pursue these intentions or did it change as they marched enthusiastically into adulthood, eager to play the next role of their lives?
Celebrate Silver aims to gather the oft forgotten memories of our silver-aged loved ones and preserve them either in a treasured keepsake book or through a well-crafted digital video. Archiving these details helps the next generation forge a deeper connection with their own family history. So far, Celebrate Silver’s growth has been organic. Steadily reaching over 1000 subscribers on YouTube, we hit an amazing 3.5k views for the latest video on internationally renowned fine artist Trevor Waugh, who wrote in with, “Awesome, thank you, it’s brilliant. I’m shocked … can’t stop smiling!’
But we live in an ageist society.
From fashion to food, everything is tailored for the youth. While we spend hours celebrating our children (their birth, graduation, wedding) as we should, we forget we can also honour the elders in our lives. They are after all, “sitting in the waiting room,” my octogenarian aunt Salima Raza says jokingly.
Associated with theatre and radio for over six decades, Salima Raza directed her first play for Mumbai’s iconic Prithvi theatre at age 85! I had the opportunity to document her story in a three-part video for Celebrate Silver’s YouTube channel. I’ve saved the text she sent which says, “This is such a huge gift from you to me.”
Perhaps it was losing my mother, just as I became one myself, that made me start Celebrate Silver. There have been countless times when I wish I knew key details of her life, which ended within two swift weeks, when she was only 57 years old. Maybe the pleasurable evenings I spent with my grandmother changed my perspective about senior citizens. Saeeda Bano, India’s first woman radio newsreader lived by herself and I got the chance to know her better when I came from Lucknow to New Delhi to study. It wasn’t all smooth sailing initially. I was, after all, the daughter of the woman who had divorced her son. But blood being thicker than rage, we soon developed a strong bond. One that strengthened over time. Knowing my weakness for food, Bibi enticed me with mouth-watering dinner options (Yakhni pulao, Shami-Kababs, Lamb-chops-with-mint sauce) if I came after college to help host her tea-parties. I met the most delightful aunts and uncles from my extended family, along with Bibi’s amusing friends at these informal gatherings. Belonging to all walks of life, these silver agers were way more interesting than my 19–year-old-self imagined. Serving up endless cups of warm tea, crispy chicken patties, warm fluffy kababs and an assortment of other delicious snacks, I would interact and listen to their riveting conversations. They had so much to say! Despite thinning hair, deepening wrinkles, hearing-aids, walking sticks, back problems, knee pain, memory playing its old ‘hide and seek’ game, they were tackling life head on, enjoying every moment. Letting nothing hold them back.
I find seniors awe-inspiring. There is much to learn from them. Here in Dubai, I see them troop merrily into town to spend time with their children and step-in, when required, to take care of the grandkids. They show up for their families, best they can, while tackling a host of age-related health issues.
I admire how they reinvent themselves. Some people I know have launched their own small business or started philanthropic ventures. Others have enrolled in classes (from exotic cooking to chocolate making!) joined reading clubs, solo travel groups, chanting groups and even the gym!
Aunty Rohini started going to the gym at age 77 and can now deadlift 25 kgs. A Grand Reiki Master, Aunty is 82 years old. After the episode I did with her she sent me this message, “No words to express my gratitude. You have wonderfully shared my silver life.”
Curating content for Celebrate Silver is a delicate dilemma; It requires patience. In any family, the senior members are reluctant to take the initiative to record their life experiences. This decision usually hinges on the approval of their children or close relatives. Because how does one say – ‘you should document my story while memory allows me the grace to remember.’
