A handbook is an assortment of guidelines or instructions on a specific topic. But a handbook on killing joy? Who exactly is a killjoy, and why do we need a guide to help us become one? 

The myths surrounding what makes women happy (i.e. marriage, caregiving, housework) have historically been shot down, critiqued and reimagined by feminism. By refusing to ‘get in line’ the feminist killjoy destroys other people’s happiness; as Sara Ahmed states, she is a spoilsport.  In The feminist Killjoy handbook, Sara Ahmed offers instructions, knowledge, and direction about life in the world, rather than offering tips on how to be a feminist killjoy. As an independent academic and feminist writer, Sara Ahmed works at the intersection of feminist, queer, and race studies and her ingenuity in composing a manual on killing joy, must be joyfully noted.

“To expose a problem is to pose a problem” is the first killjoy truth, which Sara Ahmed deftly conveys in the introduction. This is important since it opens the discussion and describes how a problem may arise just from awareness of it. This is the reason feminists have been dubbed “killjoys”; they have a lot of injustices to call attention to, such as sexism. This killjoy truth is followed by the core “killjoy commitment,” “I am willing to cause unhappiness.” This commitment provides an understanding that penetrates the entire book, elucidating the necessity of killing joy and how it illuminates realms that would otherwise remain hidden.  The book opens with the author recounting a story about ruining “another” family dinner. The girl (author) is a killjoy only for reacting to harsh patriarchal remarks. Because Killjoys are awful; they can ruin happiness by simply bringing up disagreements. 

This book is replete with many Killjoy equations and maxims, such as: and the rolling eye forms the following equation: Rolling Eyes = Feminist Pedagogy. We are aware that there is a lot to laugh at; keep in mind that inequity is frequently made fun of. A common starting point for killjoy stories is the inability to find anything humorous. When feminists were meant to chuckle at sexist jokes, they rolled their eyes.  And they would only hear… “Oh, here she goes!” 

Rousseau instructs Sophie in his well-known educational treatise Emile that “a good girl finds her own happiness in the happiness of a good man’’. Ahmed says that what we may call “conditional happiness” seems to be rooted in a relationship of care and reciprocity So, are feminism and happiness at odds?  The author is accused of ruining dinners, but is that the intention? Can we fake happiness by ignoring what needs attention? This book attempts to convince us that we need to consider when and how to dispel the myths of happiness. When we respond and talk back to those in positions of power, Ahmed says, we turn into feminist killjoys. However, the message might be one of empathy. As Carol Tavris notes in her work on anger “Pay attention; I don’t agree with what you’re doing, and please treat me with dignity and honour’’. The fact that happiness, rather than justice or recognition, is presented as the ultimate “object of human desire” eliminates, in Sara Ahmed’s opinion, the possibility for subjects to express their frustration with their current social position, or to draw attention to oppressive systems they may be subject to. 

Marilyn Frye thought that rage might be a tool for mapping. One can map conceptions of who and what one gets by determining where, with whom, about what, and under what circumstances one can become agitated). She argues over the appropriate places and situations for the outpour of female anger. The likelihood is lower in a living room than in a kitchen. Likewise, the author may have felt that the dining table was not a suitable setting for voicing displeasure. Anger may be a tool of cartography that helps women chart how other people perceive their social status. Ahmed points out,

“Feminism is an inheritance of the grief that comes from realizing that gender is a limitation on possibilities and that this limitation is unnecessary.”

In addition to sparking discussion about the collective aspect of suffering masked and perpetuated by the image of the contented housewife, feminism focuses on the sociality of unhappiness. 

The book has six chapters, and the final four chapters present Killjoy as a cultural critic, philosopher, poet, and activist, respectively. The brilliance of the book lies in the way it resonates with everyone who deals with or feels prompted to speak out against disrespect, whether it be in institutions where misogyny is practised surreptitiously or at a dinner table where a little girl is subjected to sexist remarks.  

Rewatching Kramer vs. Kramer and citing it as an example of popular culture, the author in the chapter “The Feminist Killjoy as Cultural Critics” points out the problem that underlies cinema with a hero as the main character, where viewers are supposed to feel ‘himpathy‘, the term she borrows from Kare Manne. Thus, a feminist killjoy catches what others overlook while enjoying a movie. Himpathy refers to the audience’s supposed sympathy for the male protagonist, which the author finds erroneous. Because killjoys react differently from everyone else to stimuli, they are what Ahmed refers to as “affect aliens.”

Even though this term has been around for a while, Ahmed has helped make the term “killjoy” popular by utilising it in numerous of her works. She also runs and writes on her blog feministkilljoys.com, with the very apt tagline, ‘killing joy as a world-making project.’ The author’s goal of generating consciousness about it through her intriguing and vivid writing affirms the feeling ”It’s not just me who feels this way”, and also debunks the false notions about women’s rage. 

Shulamith Firestone believes that oppressed people are compelled to smile despite their inner misery, and her “dream action” is plausible, as she advocates for a boycott of smiles. We have all had disgusted and impulsive thoughts at the dinner table or in a variety of other situations specific to our social standing. However, women have been urged to stay cheerful and to see the bright side of things. But as Audre Lorde reminds us,

“Looking on the bright side of things is a euphemism used to obscure certain realities of life, the open consideration of which might prove threatening or dangerous to the status quo,” 

One can be inspired to become a killjoy or feel proud of being one by reading this brilliant handbook on the feminist killjoy. This book is for all of us, whether we realize it or not, who are killjoys, prepared to shoot down the illusions of happiness, who are not scared to bring unhappiness to the table, and who may have grown accustomed to hearing “Oh, here she goes.” 

References  

• Ahmed, S. (2010). Killing joy: Feminism and the history of happiness. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society, 35(3), 571–594.  
• Ahmed, S. (2014). Cultural Politics of Emotion. Edinburgh University Press 
• Frye, M. (1983). Politics of reality: Essays in feminist theory. Crossing Press 
• Lorde, A. (2012). Sister Outsider: Essays and speeches. Crossing Press 
• Tavris, C. (1989). Anger: The misunderstood emotion. Simon and Schuster.